


Hold On and Don't Let Go

by Khentkawes



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Getting Back Together, Post-Break Up, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Khentkawes/pseuds/Khentkawes
Summary: Pepper Potts gets a phone call that sends her across the country and straight to a hospital room at Columbia Medical.Or the reunion we all needed after Civil War.





	Hold On and Don't Let Go

**Author's Note:**

> I have absolutely no doubt that this has been done before (probably to death). But whenever I write in a new fandom, it's always a coda or missing scene. Apparently it's my thing. My personal headcannon is that it took a bit longer than this for Tony and Pepper to get back together, but the last time I watched Civil War, I just really needed someone to hug Tony and tell him that he would be okay.

From the time her phone rang, it took Pepper Potts less than forty-five minutes to reach the private air field where a Stark Industries jet sat fueled and waiting. She greeted the pilot and flight crew briefly, asking them to take off as soon as possible.

Thanks to S.I.’s top of the line (and possibly Tony-Stark-enhanced) private jet, they landed in New York less than four hours later, where a car was already waiting. Pepper had briefly considered taking a helicopter, but she decided that might be overkill. No need to pull out the full dramatics, tempting though it was. She wasn’t Tony, after all.

And since she wasn’t Tony, she entered Columbia University Medical Center without fanfare or entourage, politely and professionally greeted the receptionist and provided the name of the patient she’d come so far to see. Pepper didn’t raise her voice or make demands (though, again, it was tempting), but waited patiently until a security guard arrived to escort her. The guard whisked her into an elevator and up several floors, then to a meeting room across the hall from her final destination. As she slipped into the meeting room, she cast a look at the private recovery room across the hall, the door closed and two private security specialists stationed just outside. In the meeting room, she was greeted by a team of doctors, including a neurologist, an orthopedic surgeon, an expert in spinal reconstruction, a trauma surgeon, and (surprisingly) a psychologist. She didn’t have time to ask about that last one before she was quickly and thoroughly briefed on the situation.

“We were given permission to discuss his prognosis with you on arrival,” the psychologist explained, while the chief of the private security firm presented a series of papers for her to sign. She glanced at them briefly, noting the familiar company name and the standard security agreement.

“You’ve already been background-checked and approved, so all you will need to do is sign here, here, and— ”

“Yes, I know the drill,” she said, signing blindly. At moments like these, there were more important matters than reading what she would be forced to sign anyway.

The man nodded, taking the papers and handing her a security badge. Then he left her alone with the doctors.

“So,” Pepper took a deep breath. “How is he?”

* * *

 It was a lot to take in. The doctors had been very thorough in their explanations, carefully answering her questions as best as they could. They didn’t have definitive answers yet. They’d spent the day running a battery of tests, in addition to the ones that had already been performed in Germany. They would know more tomorrow.

“May I see him?”

“Of course, Miss Potts.” The neurologist again. He opened the door and waved her through, escorting her to the private room across the hallway. “He was sleeping when you arrived. He’s been in and out of testing all day and he’s still worn out from the travel as well.”

Pepper nodded. “I won’t disturb him. I just want to sit with him for a while.”

The doctor nodded. “Stay as long as you’d like.”

Pepper thanked him, and turned to the door. She heard the footsteps of the doctor as he walked away, leaving only the quiet of the hallway. As her hand hit the cold metal of the door handle, she hesitated. Once she walked through that door, there would be no pretending, no ignoring the reality of the situation. The security guards said nothing, but she thought she saw a quick flicker of sympathy cross the face of the one closest to her.

With a deep breath for courage, she turned the door handle.

Inside, the room was draped in blue light, the twinkling lights of the New York skyline seeping through thin curtained windows supplemented the glow of the monitors. It wasn’t fully dark, more like twilight—light enough to see the man in the hospital bed, lying almost eerily still.

Rhodey was still sleeping, motionless and silent, swathed in hospital sheets and hooked up to equipment to monitor his vitals. But aside from the medical equipment he looked…almost normal? Perhaps a bit worn, his face lined with exhaustion and stress, but otherwise…he looked okay? It was hard to believe that all of the damage the doctors had mentioned—shattered vertebrae, severed spinal cord, paralysis—was hiding beneath the veneer of normalcy, invisible to the naked eye.

A slight movement from the corner of the room caught her attention, her gaze landing on the room’s other occupant, hidden away in the corner to the left of Rhodey’s bed. He sat in a chair, hunched over and hidden in shadow, the curtain shielding him from the flickering city lights outside the window and leaving him in a puddle of darkness. Pepper could barely make out his silhouette, but it was enough for her to pick out the tension gripping his shoulders.

“Tony?” She kept her voice quiet and soft, a whisper carried on the darkness.

He looked up at her. The shadows kept her from being able to read the emotion in his eyes, but it couldn’t obscure the brittle, broken note in his voice. “Pep?”

She crossed the room, casting a glance at Rhodey’s still sleeping figure before she grabbed the second chair, picking it up so that the legs wouldn’t screech across the floor as she placed it next to Tony. She looked him over, the slant of light coming in through the window revealed bruises littering his face, a black eye that hadn’t had time to heal, weariness written all across his features. She saw the tension in his shoulders that spoke of pain and her gaze landed on the sling supporting his left arm. She wondered how bad the injury must be for Tony to consent to the sling, to allow himself to be immobilized. She thought of all the times she’d found him in the lab, fidgeting and working and refusing to sit still, even with an icepack strapped to his shoulder or bandages around his wrist…the physical reminders of some work accident that Tony had treated on his own before he forced himself to push through the pain.

Her hand landed gently on his back, a soft caress as she sat down in the chair beside him without saying a word.

“I’m glad you came,” Tony said, his whisper somehow softer than hers. “Rhodey will want to see you.”

She reached out and clasped his right hand, threading their fingers together. “Of course, I came.” He’d barely met her eyes this whole time, glancing nervously away, eyes landing on the floor before they shifted back to Rhodey, guiltily. His shoulders were hunched, his entire body frozen and still as a statue—so unlike the Tony she knew. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him look so alone. She squeezed his hand harder, trying to remind him that he wasn’t.

“Rhodey’s my friend. I care for him. Of course I would be here.” Tony nodded slightly, but didn’t look at her. “I care about you, too, you know. That hasn’t changed. And it never will.” Tony didn’t say anything, but he let out a shuddering breath.

Then Tony pulled away, extracting his fingers from hers as he released her hand and retreated. Pepper felt a flash of hurt as he pulled away from her.

The physical withdrawal was a painful reminder of the state of their relationship, of the day they’d fought and she’d said she couldn’t be with him—not anymore, not right now. He’d reached out to her then, trying to reason with her, reaching out to take her hand, as if he could just reach her, could just hold onto her, then somehow he could make everything right again. But she’d let go of his hand and stepped back, shaking her head sadly. She’d been the one to let go. She’d been the one to pull away.

She wondered if he’d felt what she felt now, as she reached out to offer comfort only to feel him withdraw.

She’d just said she still cared, but…maybe he didn’t? Oh god, had their break changed his mind? She’d thought she knew how this would go; she knew them both well enough to anticipate what would happen, and she’d made her plans accordingly. She’d thought the break would give them distance. She’d thought that, when she was ready, when they’d both sorted themselves out, he’d still be there, ready to take her back and try again. She’d thought, in the unlikely event that either of them were to decide to make the break permanent, it would be her. But maybe she’d read this all wrong? Read him wrong. Maybe she’d waited too long and lost her chance to…

Tony curled forward, propping his elbow on his knee as he covered his face with his now free hand, hiding his eyes from her. Then she heard a choked sob as his shoulders began to shake.

Pepper felt her heart crack. Tony’s sob snapped her out of her own spiraling thoughts and forced her to look, really look, at the lonely, broken man in front of her.

“Tony, honey…” She wrapped her left arm around him, gently and aware of the sling on his left shoulder. Then she leaned in as close as she could get, resting her cheek on his right shoulder. “It’s going to be okay. I’m right here.”

Tony didn’t respond. If anything, he cried harder, and it made Pepper realize that she’d rarely seen Tony actually cry—at least, not like this. Tony was more sensitive than most people realized, and she knew he felt deeply. But he would always try to hide it, holding back his tears as much as possible. She’d seen tears leak out from behind his restraint, seen him wake with his cheeks wet after a nightmare. But even after Afghanistan and even after New York, he’d never really broken down like this—at least, not in front of her. After all of her years with him, the sight of Tony Stark weeping openly and without restraint was a shock.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out in between harsh breaths, the sobs quieting slightly but not slowing down. “It’s my fault. I tried and…I couldn’t…It’s all my fault. I tried and I destroyed it all.” His breath came in heavy gasps between words, between sobs.

Pepper was taken aback at the hopelessness she heard in his voice. She didn’t know what he was talking about, what he had destroyed. Their relationship? The Avengers? Rhodey?

Or maybe he meant…all of it.

It would be just like Tony to blame himself for their relationship, in spite of the fact that they were both responsible. It would be like him to blame himself for the breakup of the Avengers, even though everyone had made their own decisions while under immense stress and influenced by outside forces far outside of Tony’s control. And, of course, he would blame himself for Rhodey’s injury—something Tony could have never predicted or prevented.

“Hey, hey…” Pepper pulled him closer and felt him lean into her touch. “It’s not your fault. You didn’t destroy anything.” Tony’s breath hitched. “We’re right here. And we’ll get through all of this. Okay?”

Tony let out a deep, shuddering breath, but he nodded slightly. She kept holding him close to her, afraid to relax her grip in case it was the only thing holding him to together. His breath stuttered and he let out a few more sobs, quieter and weaker, as he slowly regained control of his breathing. Finally, he let the hand fall away from his face, leaning back slightly and scrubbing at his eyes before he let his hand drop into his lap. She instantly reached out to cover his hand with her own. She relaxed her hold on him slightly, giving him the opportunity to pull away if he needed to. When he didn’t, she felt an immense sense of relief and began gently rubbing slow circles between his shoulder blades with her other hand.

“I don’t know what to do now,” Tony said, a soft whisper that sounded like defeat.

Pepper kissed his cheek. “That’s okay. Tony, you’re okay. You don’t have to do anything right now. Rhodey is fine. I talked to the doctors and they are doing everything they can. We can call in every specialist in the world if we have to. But he’ll be fine.” Tony’s breath stuttered again, a harsh wet sound that echoed in his chest. “I mean it,” she said more firmly, squeezing his hand. “Rhodey will be okay. We’ll make sure of it. And everything else…” she blew out a long breath, “everything else can wait. And we’ll deal with it. Okay? But not right now. You’re exhausted and you don’t need to do anything else right now. Okay?”

Tony seemed to absorb that for a while, just breathing, and it sounded harsh and pained, but it was breathing nonetheless.

“Okay,” Tony finally replied. He melted just a little, leaning against her, his head tilted to rest against hers.

Pepper kept up the steady, soothing motions against his back and shoulder, kept her grip on his hand—a grip he finally returned. They sat together in the darkening room, the flickering lights of the New York skyline breaking through the window. It was getting late. Eventually she knew she’d need to convince Tony to move, to take him home or somewhere he could sleep. But it was too soon, she knew. She’d let him stay here, with Rhodey safely in sight, for as long as he needed.

Eventually she felt Tony’s fingers relax in her grip, and she knew he’d begun to doze. She turned her head slightly to look at the hospital bed and was surprised to see Rhodey looking back at her, relaxed but eyes open, staring at them. Giving him a tentative smile, she mouthed the word “hi,” not even daring to speak. Rhodey’s eyes lit up a bit.

“Hi, Pepper,” he replied, voice low and soft.

“It’s late,” Pepper relied, just as quietly. “Go back to sleep.” Rhodey looked from her to Tony, now slumped against her side. “We’ll both be here tomorrow,” Pepper said. Rhodey looked from Pepper back to Tony, and she smiled at him. “I’ve got this,” she insisted. “You just focus on resting.”

Rhodey nodded. “Thanks, Pepper.”

“We’ll see you in the morning.”

Rhodey’s eyes drifted shut, and she watched him fall back asleep.

She let it wait a few moments longer, and then, finally, she roused Tony. He let out a soft whine as she shifted positions, jarring him.

“Hey, Tony?”

“Hhmmm?” Pepper smiled at his sleepy response.

“Come on, honey. Let’s find you somewhere where you can get some proper sleep.”

He looked at her, eyes red and bloodshot, but fully awake again.

“But…”

“No buts. You need sleep. Real sleep. Everything else we can deal with in the morning.”

Tony looked at Rhodey and stared at him for a few long moments. Then he sighed.

“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Pepper pulled away and stood, reaching a hand down to Tony. He accepted it and stood, somewhat shakily, taking a minute to get his bearings and work out the stiffness in his muscles.

Then Tony looked down at their joined hands. She could see the doubts flicker across his face, trying to figure out if he’d crossed a line, or if he should let go, or if she’d drop his hand now that she’d put him back together enough to make him mobile.

Pepper adjusted her grip to hold his hand more comfortably, gave his hand a squeeze, and then pulled.

“Come on,” she said. His sad, tired eyes stared into hers for a long minute, and then he nodded, following in her wake as she led him down the hall and out of the hospital.

She held his hand tightly the whole way, and this time she didn’t let go.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr (though I don't really know how to use it), and pretty much all I'm posting about is Tony Stark at the moment. So if you want to flail about Tony, you can find me at khentkawes.tumblr.com


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